Your first message determines the initial impression you make, and only about one-third of first messages even receive a reply.A common theme of success in sending your message is to be intelligently casual.In this article, we walk you through everything you need to know to successfully make contact at your dating website.[If you are not a member at a dating site, you can try e Harmony for free.] The first three sections include general principles for the entire process, followed by a series of specific how-to's for writing the message, concluded with examples illustrating the information provided.We have combined our own research with a 2009 Ok Trends study to develop comprehensive advice for sending your first message.
And do not suggest the two of you meet up, or even exchange numbers or email addresses.Stick with a short, concise first message; you can write longer, detailed messages later once you have communicated back and forth a little.Your first message should be written in the same tone you would use in person.The reader should be able to tell you are friendly; just keep it casual and polite.If you have a sense of humor, laughter almost always works in your favor.Men may also want to consider a rather strange approach that was uncovered by Ok Cupid: This dating website found that men who appeared vulnerable actually received more replies than those appearing too confident, quite the opposite of the real-world dating experience. The thought is that these words create uncertainty, leading to a sense of vulnerability, and ultimately make you seem less threatening.Many people using online dating websites are shy, which may explain this.Take care, however, not to let your vulnerability give way to desperation; this will not work in your favor.We were shocked by which greetings led to the most responses.Once again, we turned to Ok Cupid: Generic greetings of hi, hello, and hey actually hurt your chances of a response, while less traditional greetings produced above average reply rates.Don't worry; you do not have to spend all day thinking of the perfect greeting for your first message.