You are in mourning—feeling grief and sorrow at the loss. You may feel guilty for being the one who is still alive. People who are grieving often cry easily and can have: In addition to dealing with feelings of loss, you also may need to put your own life back together. This can be a sign of serious depression and anxiety.
At some point, you may even feel angry at your spouse for leaving you. Talk with your doctor if sadness keeps you from carrying on with your day-to-day life.
Here are some ideas to keep in mind: Men and women share many of the same feelings when a spouse dies. Splitting up jobs often works well until there is only one person who has to do it all.
Both may deal with the pain of loss, and both may worry about the future. Many married couples divide up their household tasks. Learning to manage new tasks—from chores to household repairs to finances—takes time, but it can be done. It’s a good idea to make sure there are working locks on the doors and windows. Facing the future without a husband or wife can be scary. Those who are both widowed and retired may feel very lonely and become depressed. After years of being part of a couple, it can be upsetting to be alone.
Many people find it helps to have things to do every day.
Whether you are still working or are retired, write down your weekly plans.
You might: When you are ready, go through your husband’s or wife’s clothes and other personal items. Instead of parting with everything at once, you might make three piles: one to keep, one to give away, and one “not sure.” Ask your children or others to help. Many people miss the feeling of closeness that marriage brings.