The internet fills a need for "more, easier and better." For the cybersex addict, increasing amounts of time are spent "surfing," downloading, creating files, masturbating, reading information posted on sexual bulletin boards, exchanging sexual information live with others in sexual chat rooms or via computer cameras, or directing their own live sex shows on interactive sites--in short, looking for what's new, what's better than last time. The Internet has become the newest, most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out for many sex addicts. He was looking at porno, again,” reports a counseling client. The blue green glow of the computer made him look diseased.
Sexual addition is extremely destructive, both to the individual and to the marriage partner.The most difficult marital problems today are Internet pornography adultery, and sexual fantasy.Most women feel that pornography is akin to adultery.They feel that this fantasy behavior threatens the marriage and their self esteem.Most feel betrayed, defiled and abused in the same way that one might feel after an affair.Most women report a loss of security in their relationship and believe that they have been living a lie.They feel that the future of the marriage is at risk, many want to leave the marriage. The beginning of most sexual addictions are formed long before adulthood, so the addictions are carried into marriage.The sexual addict is a person who tries to use sex to fill non-sexual needs.Sex becomes not an expression of love in a mature relationship, but rather a compulsive (and often highly ritualized) response to the emotional stresses of life.Sexual addiction, like most other additions, is a way of running away from life, even for a moment. But since it does not actually solve any problems or ease emotional pain the original problems are still there and now the addiction has created even more problems.If you are in relationship with someone you think is sexually addicted, your efforts to help may be actually adding to the problem.